To those Loved Ones that I've lost...

[Auntie Di, Auntie Donna, Uncle Jim and Grandma Doreen]


Uncle Jim:
[Passed Oct 23rd, 2009]

Your spirit was something contagious.
You brought laughter to the room with every wink
Your love for Aunt Jackie was something I admired...
coming from a cynical non-believer in ever lasting love... you proved me wrong.
With every year that passed by, your love and admiration of Aunt Jackie and our family grew stronger. I will never forget how even till the very end of our time spent together, you still looked at Aunt Jackie with undying love and respect. You would always call her 'your sweetie'. And it touched my heart everytime. You were never shy to show your love, and in our family structure, that was something that was rare... I admired you for that.
Even when the doctors told us that you only had a short amount of time with us, your strength struck me. You had so much wisdom and hope and confidence that "you never know." You were not afraid. I was. My regrets are that I didn't get to spend enough time with you to feel satisfied.. but on second though, I'm not sure if this lifetime would've been able to give me the amount of time I wanted or needed. I'm still young in believing that every one of my loved ones are untouchable, Invincible. When I found out this morning that you had unexpectedly passed, a piece of my heart passed on with you. That part of my heart will never grow back. It's my homage to the love that I have for you.
Your belief in me means the world. And I'll love you for always. The only comfort I can take with this is knowing that you're no longer stuck in a cancer ridden jail cell of pain.
I am thankful for all that you have given me Jim. You gave me love. Support. Confidence in myself. Laughter, strength, and family.
I am forever indebted to you.

I fucking hate you, cancer. You had no right in taking away someone so important in my life, so quickly. Who the fuck are you to tell me I only have x amount of time to spend with someone I care about? Who made you god? You had no right.
And you've just gone and taken an amazing, wonderful, warmhearted, genuine being off of this earth. Fuck you.

Bad Romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather studded kiss in the scene
And I want your love

J'veux ton amour
Et je veux ton revenge
J'veux ton amour

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad,your bad romance

Just FOCUS;
Be who you want to be
Plan out your course of action
and accomplish them.

Who is it that you see when you look in the mirror?
Does the external match the internal point of view?
FOCUS.

What are the things you want to accomplish?
Are you working hard with each day to make them into reality?
FOCUS.

Who do you want to be?
Be it.
Take those steps.
Make those plans.
and Follow Through.


You are your own biggest enemy
You have that inspiration
Find it.
Keep it.
And pay it forward.

Surround yourself with the people who impress and inspire you
Learn.
Give others the opportunity.
If you can help them, go to the end.

Love each day and never waste it.
Because you are blessed.

My Moon, My Man...

Waiting for the day
for that knight in shining l'amour
to take me away.

It's been so long
those feelings so muted
That excitement, that happiness
that feeling of it being perfect
Are all distant memories
so distant, forgotten
that when I sit down and try to recognize them
All I get back is empty acknowledgment.

I know that My Moon has it's planned destiny
For me, my heart, and my journey to ecstasy
That My Man will come with no feelings of 'wrong'
And all that I'll say is "What took You so long?"

Lust

Why is this on Repeat?
Those looks that you give me
move my eyes to my feet.
Unfathomable connection
so desiringly sweet
Yet completely dangerous
because you're already concrete
With another...
You make me want more
more talk more greet
It's not like you're meaning to...
if you are, you're discrete.

But I cannot help it
these feelings are acknowledged
You're Perfect and Wonderful
but made for another.

Nevertheless
you're something so blessed
to have you be apart of my life
so amazing, I confess.