I'm looking for a man who wants me just the way that I am. Who isn't unsure of it, who isn't confused, or fearful of commitment. That's all just a construction in your head... it's not me. So realize that and stop treating me as if I'm the problem.

I'm tired of having you come into my life, realize that there's something between us, but then hesitate because you're unsure of what it really is that you want. You're too fearful of what it could mean, or potentially lead to. You're succumbing to your own fear, and therefore limiting your own life experience because of it.

I'm not a second choice. I'm not something that will just stick around and wait for you to want to be with me. I'm not your babysitter. I'm a person, with feelings, and deserve respect.

I'm not going to work for you to realize that. If you can't see that on your own... if you can see what I am, or what I can offer you, then you just don't deserve me.

I want someone to spend time with. Someone to go on random adventures exploring the world with. Someone to expand my consciousness, and someone that I can provide expansion to as well. Someone to lift me up when my wings have been weakened, and cheer for me while I take flight. Someone who sees the realness in me, in my heart, and in my soul, and appreciates it.
Someone who fights for me, knowing how much I could mean to them. I'm tired of being taken for granted, and mistreated. I'm tired of being a "possibility" but never the reason for that risk that you're will to take.

I deserve so much more than that. And I know that.

New but the same old.

Hi.

So a LOT has changed since I last posted, but at the same time... nothing really has.

I still find myself in the same situational love predicament as usual.

No matter what interesting attractive soul enters my life, sparks a potential... it always ends up a disappointment!

so I have a message for you potential disappointments out there:

Man up.

I want a MAN, not a boy. Someone who's strong, assertive, knows what he wants and goes for it. But is also respectful, honest, independent and supportive of the type of person I am, and what I need from a relationship.

You're unsure of what that is? Well let me break it down for you:

A health, opening supportive romantic fun relationship.
My own freedom and independent spirit to be embraced, understood and nurtured. I promise I'll do the exact same to you, if anything I'm probably more easy going than the surfer you know from hawaii. Or the beach bum you met in California. Trust me.

That's it, pure and simple.
I'm not looking for a husband.

Awake My Soul

Lend Me You Eyes,
I Can Change What You See.

Throw your inhabitions into the wind, and step into Chance and see what happens

I'm going for it
I'm making the leap
taking the risk
diving into an opportunity
and seeing what happens.

Fear is the biggest set back of all.
it infiltrates your mind
your confidence
your capabilities
and your living.

I'm throwing mine into the wind tonight
and stepping on onto that limb
It's not going to kill me
I'm not going to suffer a massive heart attack
I'm just going to live.
in the now.
in the moment.
and see what happens....

Still waiting for that Knight in Shining L'Amour
to come sweep me away

Lick these wounds and make me yearn

Inspiration has been playing with my senses
spiking my interest
playing with my emotions
teasing my lips with anticipation
flushing my vision with mirages
drowning my ear drums with waves of lust
fucking with my mentality


Sensuality, embrace me.

What I want; Revised 2010 Plan

- My own place
- to travel for both business and pleasure
- to be my own boss
- to make a difference
- to make a bigger and better difference
- to maintain the lifestyle I've dreamed about for myself

Hypocrite.

Dear You,

You - the memory of what was your identity
Back then
The facade that you well played
Sure made a fool out of me.

You are the biggest mistake of my life.
And the best thing that could've ever happened to me.
Too bad your falsities are now outshining
Anything good that you could've possibly given me.

I wish you could get a reality check
and realize just how much of a tool you've been
I would really much enjoy that
Just so that I could finally get what I need....

honest acknowledgment.

You say you can't be friendly with me
you said that about all of us - except her.
Well then, what did she do to deserve the respect we all deserve,
but never get?
It seems like it's just Me.
You give all the others the rights they need - the ones we all deserve-
but for some reason, just not Me.

Did I ever cheat you? Did I ever go crazy? Malicious? Predictable?
No.
They all did.
Yet you give everything for them, and nothing for me.

Well, I hope you feel what you've put me through.
I would never wish ill upon someone like you do.
But I think you could use some life lesson
and see what it's like
to be on the receiving end
of what you do.

Heaven help You when You fall,
SCupcake

Lustre

When I think of You
I sweat with lustre.

You've got your makeup on and you're not coming back

I am in love.
I am in love with life.
With music.
With the people I'm lucky to have in my life.
With the experiences I have been given, good and bad.
With the person I've become.
With the lessons I've learned... and the ones I have yet to.
With the good in this world.
With every person who's ever felt alone. You're not.
With every moment.
With lingering lips.
With the feeling that I get in my gut when I think about You.
With the knowing I have that one day You'll come sweep me off my feet.
With the fact that I know You're out there.
With the fact that I'm waiting here for You.

I'm in love.
Vivre.